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| So i heard the best song a while back... pretty much explains what i want out of life... along w/ every other freakin' girl on this planet... lol -I wish it were as easy as this song... good old Paula Deanda:) I need to find somebody who can't sleep at night
Without holding me... without holding me tight
I want someone who sees me all the time in their dreams
And then wakes up thinking just of me
Spent time on my own
Spent time being free
Now I just wanna be
Overloved
Over needed
Over wanted
Over missed when I'm away
Overloved
Over dreamed of
Over cared about
Over everything
I'd give anything to be overloved
I want someone who can't wait to kiss me again
Even though it's been a minute since they last did
Want someone who loves love songs
And dedicates them to me
And two loving arms never out of reach
Been fine all alone
Did fine being free
This time I wanna be
This time I wanna be
Overloved
Over needed
Over wanted
Over missed when I'm away
Overloved
Over dreamed of
Over cared about (Over cared about)
Over everything
I'd give anything to be overloved
Want someone to talk to me with talk so sweet
Want someone who's there to share their world with me (Oh baby)
I've been too lonely for too many nights
This time I need someone here in my life
This time I want someone holding me tight
Been under kissed, under touched
Now I just wanna be
Overloved
Over needed
Over wanted
Over missed when I'm away
Overloved
Over dreamed of
Over cared about
Over everything
I'd give anything to be overloved
I just wanna be
Overloved
By someone who's over in love with me
overloved
Over kissed over touched over missed
Oh I just wanna be overloved | | |
| Well... it has been quite a while. Figured i should probably show my xanga a little love. Up until this past week i haven't really enjoyed summer, but alas it is finally starting to click, i am starting to get back to my old self. YAY!! lol. Hmm let's see i am taking biochem2 right now... it's going pretty good. I have an A so far, let's just hope i can keep it:):)... but studying sucks as usual. I was at my friend megan's last night and the girls and I have decided to take a trip. We have 4 ideas...LA/Cali beaches( my personal favorite.) --Maine (for the Ben and Jerry's ice cream factory)--Caribbean cruise (Need i say more?)-- and last but not least maybe somewhere around lake cumberland...(Not lake cumberland though b/c they are draining it.) This trip will take place in late August, and there may or may not be others invited... who knows maybe we'll just take our entire group!-- haha should be interesting, something juicy is bound to happen! Well that is all for now-- GOODDAY!! | | |
| So summer is sorta lame... kinda boring, yet fabulous!? weird...i guess i am just glass that my school work has abated for the summer months, and the only thing i really have to concentrate on is studying for the GRE's at the present time. As for everything else i hate it. I totally miss all my people... lol i am so lonely it's sick. I can't wait for this weekend b/c the roommie is coming back along with other way cool people and i am just too excited to express!  The ex has already started in w/ the whole come visit me in the vegas nonsense ,not going to lie if i get a ticket in the mail i will more than likely do it.. 1. because i kinda miss the little prick and 2. because ummm hello... it's the vegas! and who doesn't want to be 21 and in the vegas? right.. hehe it would only be for a few days though b/c classes start soon and there is only like a 3 day period from now till then that i don't have to work, so we'll see but nothing is set in stone yet...however Doug is coming home tomorrow for a week... i think i am going to do the whole b-day dinner thing w/ him and I have been guilted into going to his brother's wedding... which i am a little excited about, more so because i will finally get to see his little niece and nephew.. wow i am so lame, oh well though i'll get over it. Oh yea... got my new ID the other day... i feel sooo grownass-- and i can't even really use it yet. I just can't wait to proudly show off my ID and get a drink in return. My mom and dad told me at midnight on the 13th they are taking me to john and tony's to buy me my very first legal drink! haha that should be a good time. HAHA and last buy not least i have officially grown up, the other day when the family was out of town, my turn signals stopped working and i, me, by myself went to auto zone, got the little thing i needed and fixed it! ... haha yup i have officially grown up, my dad was soo proud lol, i am done rambling.. have a good week | | |
| Well it has been quite a while...things are going pretty well! I am super pumped it's summer and i don't have to think about studying for another 3 weeks! :) Just been working and playing and working some more... kinda enjoying my freedom a little bit. So the big news?? I turn 21 on the 14th of june... a little more than a week away. I am more excited then i know how to express. There is going to be a pretty fun party for it on the 16th so be at the beagle on Sat!!.. can NOT wait till my roommie comes back for it... it's amazing how much you miss someone when they aren't living in the room right next to you. But who knows maybe i'll make a few more friends this summer... and maybe even find me a summer love.. haha. I basically just need to find things to keep me preoccupied because idle time is not good in "Jamie" terms.. i need to immerse myself in something for the summer, so if anyone has any suggestions i am more than down for it. My best friend from high school got married this weekend, it was quite possibly the cutest damn thing i have ever seen, and it made me realize that some day i may want to get married too! :) Plus i caught the bouquet hehe what are the chances..Anyways that is about all that is going on in my life at the moment.. kinda boring actually but i'll let you know if anything juicy happens. And i'm out! -Jamie | | |
| This past week has been pretty tough. Not really sure why but i have recently started to question some of my actions. I know that i had a good reason for breaking up with the ex, but i just recently pinpointed the actual cause of the downfall. Doug and I were perfect when it came to the day to day things. We could talk, laugh, joke, spend mass amount of time together and not want to kill each other, but we were lacking when it came to the things that laid the foundation of the relationship. If i was okay with just hanging out for the rest of my life i would be back with him at this very second, but i am not. I actually want to take a relationship farther than just boyfriend/girlfriend someday, and well it would have been tragic if we tried to do that. So even though i can visualize us together in the future, i can't visualize a good solid marriage, there are just too many important things that we don't agree on. How is that possible? How can we agree on all the pointless things, and get along great yet hold such drastically different views on the important shit? I mean seriously, i invested 3 years of my life on something that didn't have a strong foundation? I just can't believe i let it go that far. The worst part about this whole situation? I still fucking love him. It has been said that i am lucky to be on the side i am because it hurts a lot worse to be the one broken up with. There is no way that is true at all. I have to be so much more disciplined, not only do i have to turn away the one person i love, but i also have to keep myself from doing something drastic, ha... i get to break doug's heart and mine at the same time, at least Doug can be angry at me. I used to just brush it off as me being lonely. But i'm not that lonely, or at least i don't have to be--i just choose to be. Sometimes i wonder if maybe it's just the fact that i know he loves me, and that no one else could ever love me like he does. It may be true, but is that a legitimate reason for staying in a relationship? I don't think anyone can really know how much i am completely tore up inside. One half of me is telling me suck it up and the other is begging for just one more chance. Just one more chance for our relationship to change...but change isn't something that you choose, it is just something that happens. I played the "future game" with Doug. I allowed myself to pretend that someday we would be together, and get married, and have kids and be happy, but i didn't think about all the other things that go along with that. I saw the picture, but i didn't see the movie. While we may have a damn good looking photograph, our video is a tragedy. So now i sit here, sad because i just got an IM that says he loves me, and all i want to do is say it back, but that wouldn't be fair. Not to him, i can't be the girl that keeps their ex hanging on because i am insecure with a decision i have made. I don't want him to keep holding on, it's not fair, yet the idea of him even looking at someone else makes me sob. I ended last quarter breaking up with Doug and i am coming to the end of this quarter, trying to actually make myself accept my break up with Doug. I keep thinking that it's not over. Not yet, like we still have a little bit more left... but that can't be true because i can't think that and try it only to find out, it still isn't going to work, and have to go through all this again. On a lighter note the nature center was amazing. -- Jamie | | |
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